I believe being open about our feelings not only to our partners, but also to our friends or people we care about and are attracted to is important.
In relationships of any kind, keeping away honest feelings from each other destroys the trust, and brings up insecurities. There are moments when we fall in love so quickly and fall out as quickly. When you find yourself thinking what happened to once a great bond that you had, which after sometime you feel gone. And that your partner or someone you admire is shifting his attention, or has become somewhat very busy. When she stops responding asap to your texts, when she gives excuses to spend time with you or when he seems to constanly make promises he can’t seem to keep. Or when they withhold certain information from you and give you the classical answer “I think something is wrong with me, I am the problem, not you”.
Options for you
Plan A. Talk openly about your observations if the discussion is going to be genuine and open from both of you. There should be no hurting of feelings or emotional abuse or blaming each other.
Plan B. Run away as fast as you can or plan your exit strategy (my favourite). Don’t let yourself get hurt. You matter and are very important!
Plan C. If you think there is an element, of staying friends, then retract your affections. Find a place to shift them. Try block your feelings by making yourself busy. Afterall, forgive, forget and move on. We live once! No hard feelings.
In addition, here are some red flags to take note of. and to help keep you from losing your mind with ‘WHY ME’ questions. Get your sanity back and avoid confrontation.
a. When they become too busy to call or text as they used to.
Nobody is too busy not to send a quick text or respond to your text more than four or five hours. Especially if its someone you supposedly love or attracted to. Avoid asking the question “why don’t you text me or why don’t you reply my texts”. Isn’t it obvious? You don’t matter, you dropped down the list. Get yourself busy too but not too busy for people you care about like friends or family who will always be there for you and with you.
b. When they make up excuses anytime you are supposed to meet or hang out.
This is a big red flag. When they start making up every single excuse not to see you, especially if this goes on for a while. Don’t bother asking why you cannot see them! It is obvious – no time for you plus they don’t want to see you, at least for that moment. Check the options above.
c. When you see them online but he won’t read your messages or respond to you. Sometimes even typing something to you but never send it through.
Well, this is a big one. People who have other sources of entertainment and new adventure will always be online. Perhaps an exciting new whatsapp group, or exciting new person they recently met. Its not your fault that they stopped writing to you. We are humans! Again, you are not important as you used to be. Do not do the frequent mistake that people do – writing to them and say you see that they are constantly online on whatsapp, Facebook or Instagram. Damn, just understand my basic point. You are not on the top list anymore. Other important issues could be at stake, like chatting with Trump to reverse all his executive orders! So, don’t disturb 🙂
d. When they switch off their mobile phone
Everybody has one of those daysdays when they want to stay out of touch. Well, if you call and do not find them, leave a message. If they don’t return your message, just leave them alone. They will come back to you one day.
Any more suggestions or red flags? Comment below!