Total eclipse of the heart

I liked or maybe loved too much

To see that nothing could work out between us

At first I was a free spirit

I was open about my fantasies and wants

I was truthful about my desire and needs

He knew my past and present

Even when we had to hide to freely love

Without conditions and expectations

But slowly I fell into his charms

Slowly he made so many promises he cannot seem to keep

Now I have no choice

I wonder if the spark is gone

The need to hide again comes back

I was wrong to think we could overcome this together

I was clear that I would not take his side

I meant that and will always mean it

Because despite the strength on the outside

It feels like guilt inside and all over

I cannot hold it together anymore

I know that I am crashing

Dark smoke, wind blowing and small noises are all that I hear

And yet I speak out what hurt

Because I know where I came from and where I am headed

I know that even though he says he loves me

We both know we are crashing now or soon

We can feel that our thoughts are no longer there

We can see that the carelessness has increased

The only thing that will remain is the deep feeling

I worry about her and care deeply

If you ask why I worry about her I wouldn’t tell you

For it is complex, sacred and scary

I feel just a tiny element of what she feels and carries

With so much grace and dignity

Maybe somehow I see myself in her

Such breathtaking beauty and strength

And her overwhelming love and artistic self

Looking into her eyes you see a mix of everything

I see, feel and know that she knows

Yet, with her open arms she invites me, listens and cares deeply

I am not sure I can trust again, completely

I think the other devil is out on a leash and ready to devour anything

On the other hand, I am like a zombie

Already dead from all the hurt and pain that I seem to block out

Where are we headed now?

Or is it really a total eclipse of the heart?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s