Tears of…?

I don’t know what my tears are

Are they tears of joy? The joy that I want us to share

Are they of relief? That you have found another excitement

Are they of sadness? That you never seem to give one story right to the end

Or are they of jealousy? But I don’t know why I should be jealous in the first place

All I know is that my heart is heavy now

I feel like I am on the edge of a cliff

Yet I cannot seem to find the strength to go back to safety

I do not want to jump and ruin my life

Yet I cannot go back to where we used to be

Because I love you too much to want to be jealous

Yes, I want you to have that freedom and explore

I want you to be tender to soneone else and kiss her like you would do me

But how to do this without making a fool out of us?

So tonight, my tears are of…?

Happiness? Because I finally am sleeping in my bed

Joy? Because finally I do not have to worry about someone else’s happiness

Sarcasm? Because I realise I do give good or bad advice that I do not follow myself?

420? Because I smoked so much joint that my head feels like five giant heads

Well, I cannot seem to find a reason.

So, I cry these tears tonight. I know that tomorrow comes sunshine.

And I will hear the birds from the window. I will see the sun from my curtainless window and door

And life will be beautiful again.

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