Just like I wore a rugged jeans today, my emotions and feelings are rugged. Well, I like the naked portions that you see from the outside. So I am open but not so open. Somewhere halfway. A hollow that needs to be filled. Maybe it’s alright for it to stay hollow. I don’t know if I want this hole filled up anyway.
Nevertheless, with my rugged jeans and rugged emotions, I sat today out in the sun. With my red blanket on the grass, I put my head down to the ground to feel the earth. The tenderness, the silence, the smell of green grass went through my nostrils. I breathed in, breathed out. I felt my head move and my heart sensed it. Suddenly, I thought of him and said to myself, it is not that bad!
If he just smelled the grass, the ground, the shit, the filthy waters and saw the beauty out of my rugged emotions, just like he likes my rugged jeans.