institutionalized sex abuse

This morning I read the story of a father whose kids were abused in the catholic church. Anthony Foster had died today after tirelessly fighting against Catholic sex abuse –

Having lost his daughter from a drug overdose and the other daughter from an accident caused by a drunk driver, I can’t help but think of the pain he went through.

Child abuse by institutions supposedly to keep them safe and protected happens all the time. We just never get to know when it happens because we are sometimes too busy to pay attention to our children. Some people obviously so blinded by religion that they do not seem to believe when their child has been molested.

I looked back today at my childhood years in church. I am disgusted to the core because noone would ever believe me that I was abused in many ways. Maybe I was a little lucky not to have been extremely sexually abused because my chest was so flat. I understand you must be asking why I am even ranking sexual abuse. Of course all forms of sexual abuse is bad. But for me, all I know is there were those that were slightly okay and others were really awful. Yes, I do still rank and categorize them. 

I saw the other kids being abused too. I don’t remember much because somehow my brain decided to shut the other horrible parts out, but for sure some youth pastor had touched my private parts during those nights that we would gather to pray for some sort of miracle for my sick father.

Even now, I know there are plenty of kids who are being abused and their parents do not know or have the slightest idea. They blindly send them to church or religious gatherings. They do not explain to them what sexual abuse is and how to protect themselves. Those kind of parents make me wonder until now how cold they can be. My father was one of those kind of parents. 

I guess he never really believed that a man of God would do such stuff to young kids. Even after telling him what he did to me and other kids, he never did anything. When Sunday came, we all marched to church. 

Yet he did it again. That ugly fucking bastard. He did it again and again and again. And nobody stopped him. Nobody talked about it. Nobody brought him to justice. Because nobody saw it. Only kids saw it and noone believed the kids.

Now that I am older, I still remember these little instances. If my father had believed me, if he only wasn’t blinded by religion, he would have fought for me and put that evil pastor in jail.

I hope someday these institutions will start talking about these things openly. I would suggest a bill that requires these religious institutions to talk about abuse of all forms and sorts. And for those sexual offenders to be hunted down and jailed.

May you rest in peace. Anthony. 


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