Scary scars

I lay in my bed awake

I tell myself that I should be sleeping

But sleep wants me no more

Sleep deserted me and got bored of me

I would have asked why but I hesitate

Because sleep doesn’t really know why

The scary scars still visible

Some from afar

I cry at night for some covers

Neck to stiff to feel the fur

Why? Why? Why?

A question I can never answer myself

Seems to me questions become the new norm

Justification become the new direction

I cannot close the gap

I see the deep scars of hurt and pain

I touch them with bloody fingers

I squeeze the remaining kindness out

It is my fault but not entirely

Pain wakes my numb legs

Sensation is what I try to feel

But I keep on trying

This has to end

I close my eyes for a moment

Sleep crawls to my bed and wants to cuddle

Slowly I stop writing this note

I tag it and publish it

Thirty seconds later

I am in dreamland

Sleep overtook my mind

And for a moment

Numbed my scary scars

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