Breakdown

Be calm… Be sure… Be you…

Those days when nothing seems alive

Crouched on my couch butt naked

Legs on the table scared to leave my door

Sinking into this unknown space and time

Plenty of noises in my head

Why think I am the only one different

Why think I deserve him, her, them

Oh they might call it self pity

Or self criticism they say

I cannot separate one from the other

My heart seeks to be at the right place

It is just the wrong time

Week away to being a year older

There used to be much more in life

The hearty laughter and smiles

The look in the eyes and through those eyes

Much more than starked memories of sadness and torture

But here I am, laying on the couch getting the sun

Thinking it is time to nurture someone else

I just do not know how and when

I am scared of the possibilities

I am scared when there are no words

When I have no more words

And when all is said and done

I yarn for the longing of true peace

True love sweet and pure

Yes, the strong hearted also loves deeply

I care more about her pain

She tells me not to worry about others

That if I wasn’t there life would still go on

She says I have to detach myself from this

I don’t know how anymore

I am truly scared but a little voice in me says…

Be calm. Be sure. Be you.

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