Sunk in a deepest hole

I feel like the world is crumbling down on me,

I do not know why I feel invisible,

Scarred by the emotions of others,

Gouged by the sadness of some,

I just want all this pain to go away

All of it

I have felt alone in these years

But never this alone

It is pointless trying to be myself

To feel, to let go and be happy

When all that they will see in you

Are lies, pretense after pretense

How can you rectify such betrayal?

How can I sit across and pretend not to have feelings

Why would they not understand and see that you love them anyways

Why do you even have to try and push yourself to hurt her feelings

To make me know that it is known

What it does to me is completely crazy

I have no words of my own

I stumble and fall and get back up

I am scared and choose to hide and not come out

Locked in my room and afraid that the world might see me

I question every friendship that I make and sick and tired of all the bullshit,

The bullet went right through my eyes and I cannot see anymore,

I am blinded more than I could ever think and know,

It is time to say it, to claim myself

If I didn’t have feelings for her I wouldn’t care

If I didn’t have feelings for everyone I touch I wouldn’t really care if it was known

If I didn’t have something to lose I wouldn’t care

I want to scream so hard and so loud

Nobody will hear me

Oh no, is this when people say they are depressed?

Could I be depressed?

I just know that I am in a deep hole now

Sunken so deep that I cannot see the light


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