Why should it matter,
When your heart is disturbed,
When your mind thinks of nothing else,
When your eyes have unshed tears,
Tears ready to burst into overflowing rivers,
What have I got?
Fear of being myself,
Fear of loving and caring,
Fear of twitching and beeping,
But all these feelings for what?
Sometimes it is just too hard to admit
Too hard to see what is right and wrong
Pressured to have nothing but truth
Pressure to be nothing but lies
Conditioned to hurt and not care
But for what?
Why can’t we love each other the way we know best?
Why is it a game?
When does it stop or start?
How do we make it work?
What is there for you and I?
What is there for the ones you love?
Help me understand why now
I get thrown below the waters
Sometimes makes me feel absolute mad and I drown
I think I am not worthy of your affection
Did I just self pity myself?
Made myself small, huh
Oh no, I am losing my mind
I had it altogether until then
Today I crumble
Next time a young lady like me will be in the same boat
Probably scared shit of herself and her future
Scared of her betrayal and guilt
How the world goes round
Let me not give up now
I tell myself nicely to cheer up
I won’t disagree with my feelings
It feels like shit when you confess
When you are afraid to love and be loved without conditions
I rest now
Life is a mystery